Everyone knows how difficult it is to do something for the first time. It is difficult to say the first word, to take the first steps, to cook a delicious borscht, to saddle a spirited horse, to make love for the first time.
For both a man and a woman, the first intimacy is a step towards an unknown adult life. Therefore, it is not surprising that sooner or later every teenager begins to worry about the question: "How do you lose your virginity?". Many start looking for answers from girlfriends and friends. It is better not to. The correct thing to do is to listen to the advice and recommendations of the experts, which you will find in the pages of our article.
First experience: it's the most important
The first sexual experience, regardless of whether it is positive or negative, leaves a deep mark on the soul. It should be clear that over the years you will not remember the faces and names of the lovers who once warmed your bed. But you will always remember the first man or woman who opened the door to the world of carnal love. First pleasant impressions will awaken interest in the comforts of bed. Negative memories for a long time, and perhaps forever, will discourage sexual experiments. In the future, it will be very difficult to dispel the prevailing impression about sex. This is especially true for girls. After all, they are the ones who can deal with the pain and discomfort that accompany first sexual intercourse.
For the first sexual contact, just as for the first lesson or public speaking, you need to prepare yourself. If you don't want to become hostage to your inexperience, take a look at the advice offered by experienced professionals. After reading this article, you will understand how to prepare for first sexual intercourse to avoid embarrassing situations.
First sex: down with the hustle and bustle
When planning to lose your virginity, first think about why you are doing it. Have your friends said that being innocent is no longer fashionable? Do you want to become an adult first? Have you decided to keep a friend? Don't listen to someone else's opinion, don't follow other people's wishes. You must be absolutely sure of your decision. Remember, great experience is valued when applying for a job, decency and cleanliness are valued in relationships.
Remember, innocence is a precious gift that is still valued and respected. For example, in the East, marrying a virgin girl is very nice. The Slavs considered virginity a real asset and a great value for a girl.Such an attitude towards innocence was associated, however, not with romantic ideas, but exclusively with useful ones. Indeed, in antiquity, sex was inextricably linked to procreation, so girls were protected in every way possible from extramarital sexual relations, which could lead to the birth of unwanted offspring.
Modern scientists claim that people who have lost their virginity after twenty years are more successful in life. They build a long harmonious relationship, they have a good job.
Having decided to lose her virginity, a girl must be absolutely sure of what she is doing. So, during the first intercourse, you can relax as much as possible, feel a minimum of pain. It is not necessary to combine first sexual intercourse with alcohol. Sure, alcohol will allow you to become bolder and even more active, but at the same time it dampens your sensations. As a result, the long-awaited intercourse can turn into the most unexpected consequences.
Choose wisely the partner to whom you entrust your virginity. His face, the way he behaves in bed, will remain in your memory for the rest of your life. Remember, unsuccessful first sexual intercourse can cause psychological problems. Disgust with one's body, lack of confidence in one's sexuality, constriction in bed or, on the contrary, depravity, these and other problems can be the result of an unsuccessful first sexual experience.
Sex with an unknown man can lead to unwanted pregnancy, infectious diseases and other problems. While a boyfriend with whom you have developed a long and trusting relationship will help you prepare for an important event: losing your virginity. He will be as attentive and kind, soft and caring as possible. Knowing and understanding who you are sleeping with is necessary not only for a girl, but also for a boy.
A young man with whom you have developed a close relationship of trust will rejoice during the first sexual intercourse, he will do everything correctly and accurately. A beloved girl will never laugh at the inexperience of a young lover. If two inexperienced lovers meet in the bedroom, respect and a desire to please will help overcome fears and doubts, shame and excitement.
You can remove psychological stress on the eve of first sexual intercourse:
- Creating a romantic and relaxing atmosphere: candles, pleasant music, soft lighting, comfortable and beautiful surroundings, will help you immerse yourself in the world of pleasure.
- After organising a confidential conversation - tell each other your fears, concerns, expectations - you will decide together how best to act so that everything goes 'perfectly'.
- After pampering yourself and your partner with something delicious: ice cream, chocolate, strawberries are recognised aphrodisiacs. Snacks' activate the production of pleasure hormones, so it will be easier for you to get into action.
- After a shared shower or bath, combining water procedures with intimate caresses, you can quickly tune into the desired wave.
- By arranging a vision of light erotica. This will help not only a woman, but also an inexperienced man understand how to behave properly during intercourse;
- A long, slow prelude. Pleasurable caresses will help you get used to touch, to understand what causes sexual pleasure.
First intimacy: does it hurt or not?
Sexologists confidently state that the first intimacy can pass without pain. Discomfort does not appear from the rupture of the hymen.
And from the fact that the girl behaves badly in bed. Judge for yourself: the hymen is a thin film that has one, sometimes several holes. For some it is thicker, for others not. It is more elastic and has several holes. Evolutionarily, the hymen was charged with protecting the female body from external infections and bacteria in those distant times when underwear was still unknown.
The density of the hymen does not affect the characteristic of deflowering. It is usually not difficult for an experienced man to 'overcome' such a barrier of innocence.
Doctors note that there are no nerve processes in the area of the hymen. Therefore, the pain from tearing the film can be compared to what a person experiences from a torn pimple or wound. The fragments of the hymen may or may not bleed. Everything is purely individual, depending on a woman's physiology.
In some women, spotting is observed within a week after the first time. If, after weeks, spotting continues to accompany every intercourse, it is best to consult a gynaecologist. Since erosion of the cervix, inflammatory processes can be observed in the vagina. Today, an interesting trend can be observed in modern gynaecology: 60-80% of women claim that their first intimacy passes without pain and spotting. In some cases, this becomes the cause of real tragedies and showdowns.
Why, then, for many ardent and unloving people does sex turn into a dramatic act? Doctors claim that this is due to the psychological state of the woman. The enchantress, who is preoccupied, expects not only pain, but terrible pain, everything shrinks. She cannot relax, assume a comfortable position, discard thoughts of pain. This becomes the reason why for the first time the enchanter feels discomfort.
Having sex with a crushed girl is very difficult. A man, no matter how hard he tries, cannot enter the penis at a right angle, thus offering a minimum of discomfort to his girlfriend. On top of everything, the tight muscles of the vagina are unable to release the amount of lubricant required for pleasurable penetration. As a result, sex is accompanied by micro-cracking, tearing, and bleeding.
Gynaecologists note that tension during the first sexual intercourse can cause an unpleasant condition called vaginismus. Vaginismus is a physiological disorder in which a woman experiences unbearable pain during vaginal penetration. This condition occurs due to uncontrolled contraction of the muscles of the pelvic organs. Therefore, the more nervous and tense the girl is, the more pain she experiences. At the same time, the partner may also experience discomfort. Men have the feeling that their most important organ has fallen into a trap. In such a situation, a man's task is not to panic, but to try to slowly extract the penis from the female uterus.
To avoid entering a 'dangerous' situation, it is necessary to carefully prepare for the first penetration. You should begin sexual intercourse with a prelude: long, gentle, varied. Do not forget that women need more time to be aroused than men. And young, inexperienced charms even more than experienced women.
Now that a woman has decided to taste the fruits of adulthood, you can touch all intimate places. Also, the longer the partner caresses the erogenous zones, the better.
A man's task at this stage is to bring a girl's body to maximum arousal, when she will literally tremble with desire. Next, you can proceed to penetration. For the comfort of plunging the male member into the female womb, you can place a small pillow under the buttocks. It is best to cover the bed with an old sheet or nappy.
To make the penetration process as comfortable and painless as possible, you can use a lubricant. The lubricant should be applied to the penis, the female intimate organs. It is important to make the genitals that come into contact as wet as possible. If there is no intimate lubrication, you can take olive oil or your own saliva. But lubricant is better.
Performing preparatory manipulations, whisper gentle, affectionate words into your friend's ear. The gentle chatter will allow the charmer to be distracted and relax, to take his mind off the impending pain. At the moment when she is least ready, the man must quickly enter the vagina. The hymen is located at a distance of 3-5 cm from the entrance of the female uterus. It will not be difficult for a well-aroused penis to break through the natural barrier.
If the lady does not have time to feel pain, that is fine. This means that she has managed to detach herself from thoughts of unbearable pain and the man has done everything correctly. You should not expect fireworks of bright and memorable emotions from the first sexual experience. The body needs time to learn to respond to such actions and experience an orgasm.
Suggestions for men
- during the first sexual intercourse, perform slow and smooth friction;
- for sexual intercourse, choose a comfortable and easy position;
- do not move abruptly from one position to another;
- whisper kind and pleasant words to your friend, indicating that everything is OK.
Every girl should understand that she will not only be able to experience an orgasm in the first, but also in the second, third, subsequent copulation. In women, the ability to experience powerful sexual sensations develops with age. The older the charmer, the more emotional the intimacy. Women must remember that discomfort may be present not only during deflowering, but also in later periods. The cause of such sensations are untrained vagina muscles. A little practice and you will learn how to experience vivid sexual moments.
How do men lose their virginity?
Men, like women, lose their virginity. The only difference is that representatives of the strong half of humanity are more likely to face psychological problems than physical ones. Excitement, fears, shyness can cause a weak erection or lack thereof.
Another common problem among young lovers is premature ejaculation. Such embarrassing situations can discourage the desire to indulge in the comforts of bed for a long time. Therefore, it is so important for the first time behind closed bedroom doors to retire with an understanding and loving girlfriend. The experience, as well as a loving woman, without ridicule and confusion, will be able to restore the fortitude to manhood.
The first contraceptive methods
Se vuoi solo ricordi piacevoli della tua prima esperienza sessuale, prenditi cura della contraccezione. Dopotutto, rimanere incinta dopo il primo sesso può essere facile e semplice!
If you only want pleasant memories of your first sexual experience, take care of contraception. After all, getting pregnant after first sex can be easy and simple!
For the first time, a condom will not be the best choice. No matter how high-quality, thin and elastic it is, it will be much rougher than the natural structure of manhood. As a result, the entrance to the female uterus and the vagina itself, unaccustomed to such attachments, may become red and inflamed.
For the first time, it is best to choose spermicidal creams. Having a fatty consistency, they will facilitate the process of penetration of the penis into the female uterus. Make the first time comfortable, less painful and safe.
The deprivation of innocence is an important event in the life of a man and a woman, which does not require titanic efforts and special knowledge on the part of the lovers. The main thing is the presence of genuine feelings and true emotions. And then the knowledge of the mysteries of sexual life will take place in a good and positive way.
Remember, the subsequent attitude towards sex will depend on how the first sexual intercourse takes place. Therefore, for the first time, retire with someone for whom you have tender feelings. Intimacy with such a partner will turn into pleasure and enjoyment, the desire to continue conducting sexual experiments.
After first intimacy
After that first time in life, gynaecologists advise:
- See a doctor. She will conduct an examination, make sure that there are no infectious diseases, complex lesions. You have to do it, even if after the first sexual experience nothing bothers you. Many diseases are asymptomatic. Therefore, wasting time complicates the treatment process.
- Resume sexual experimentation five or six days after the first contact. This time is sufficient for the edges of the torn hymen to heal.
The first time only happens once. And whether you remember it with warmth and pleasure or with shame and embarrassment is entirely up to you.