"Sex is the most magnificent thing on earth. It is because of it that we exist," says the famous British writer Alan Moore. Is that so? Is sex really that important in people's lives? Let us find out together.
Definition of sex
Sex is a copulation process of two people, when the emotional and sexual reactions of the body are fulfilled. Through sex, people interact with each other, display their sexuality and eroticism.
The word 'sex' was first used in 1382 in the process of translating the 'Bible' into English. Only then was it used in the meaning of gender, species, sect, caste. In the 18th century, sex was the act of procreation. And only from the beginning of the 19th century did sex cease to be just a part of the human reproductive function. They began to engage in them for fun, to establish interpersonal relationships.
Human sexual behaviour is traditionally divided into:
- sexual norm - options for sexual behaviour acceptable to the socio-historical conditions of a particular society;
- sexual deviation - all types of perversion, non-traditional sexual interest.
Sexual norms can change over time. For different historical periods, the same sexual activities can be considered normal or part of deviations. Thus, the famous Sigmund Freud believed that only the absence of sex could be considered a perversion, the rest being a matter of taste.
Depending on the method of obtaining sexual pleasure, two models of sexual life can be distinguished:
- Extragenital - sublime relationships that are not accompanied by bodily contact. A variant of extragenital sexual satisfaction is platonic love, when partners are content with a love affair without intimacy.
- Genital - sexual activity, which manifests itself directly with intercourse and options for its replacement:
- masturbation - satisfaction is achieved by stimulating one's intimate areas or a partner;
- fingering - a type of masturbation, a woman's arousal is achieved by irritating the genitals, the anus with a finger;
- caressing - to reach the peak of sexual happiness, kissing, caressing, hugging and other actions that exclude sexual intercourse are used;
- oral sex: the arousal of a lover is carried out with the help of caressing the genitals with the tongue or lips;
- actions with animals: the release of sexual energy occurs when mating with an animal (dog, horse, goat, sheep, others) or with the help of cunnilingus (arousal of a person's genitals with an animal's tongue).
Sex for beginners: the subtleties of science
When children stop being children and become teenagers, they become interested in sex. What? How? Where? What for? A kaleidoscope of various questions swirls in their heads. No surprises. About sex, after all, as something incredible, somewhat mysterious, capable of rising to the pinnacle of indescribable pleasure, they shout from the pages of magazines, television screens.
Not all teenagers are ready to go to adults with exciting questions. What is embarrassing to ask, you can read in our article.
First, some numbers. According to statistics, modern teenagers lose their virginity at around 18 years of age, 20 per cent of the fairer sex leave innocently at the age of 20-27. Losing one's virginity is not something to be rushed into. Such a step must be approached competently and deliberately; it should only be taken when a feeling of readiness arrives.
Before discovering the wonderful world of sex and starting a sex life, you should pay attention to a few important points:
- Choose with whom. Choosing a partner for the first time is a purely individual matter. Some people make a choice in favour of single sex with a stranger for the first time. However, in such a situation it is difficult to predict who might be in bed and how the sex will end. The ideal option is a soul mate with whom a strong and close relationship has been established. After all, sex with someone you know, love and trust will bring much more satisfaction and is more likely to leave pleasant memories behind.
- The right attitude. Many girls present their first time as brilliant and enchanting, unusual and breathtaking. They are a little scared and a lot worried. And then again - and nothing special, just pain and disappointment. Therefore, it is best to tune in immediately in the right way. The first time might turn out to be crumpled, clumsy and fast. But the pain and discomfort of the rupture of the hymen are real enough for a girl. Sexual satisfaction depends largely on the partner's experience. However, from a physiological aspect, a woman needs time, months, sometimes years, to learn to have an orgasm. Therefore, you should not expect something special for the first time. It is better to relax and calm down and get the most out of intimacy with your loved one.
- The main thing is security. If you do not want to become a parent at the age of 17-18, you should never forget protection. Nowadays, choosing an affordable contraceptive method is not difficult. Ideally, before buying this or that drug, it is best to consult a doctor. If for some reason this is not possible, you can use the simplest and most convenient means: a condom.
How often are you supposed to have sex?
There is no universal answer to this question. Numerous studies show that the main thing is not the frequency, but the quality. However, according to them, happy couples who are in a long-term relationship, the average frequency of sexual intercourse is once a week.
People aged between 19 and 29 have sex more often - twice a week and have an average of 112 sexual acts per year.
Most sexologists agree that you should have sex as often as you want.
Talk about sex
Ideally, parents should tell children what goes on between a man and a woman behind closed bedroom doors. However, having such a conversation is not always easy, and many adults let the situation take its course. If you decide to talk to an adult child about an intimate topic, consider some rules for competent conversation:
- Regardless of the age at which the child started to take an interest in a taboo subject, a conversation about sex proceeds in the form of a conversation. Try to be as clear as possible, taking into account age characteristics, to answer the child's questions. Let him know that he has the right to ask what interests him. So, in the process of growing up, a teenager will ask questions. Therefore, you can protect him from rash acts, problems and disappointments.
- Use a calm and confident tone. When adults respond appropriately to a child's interest in this topic, calmly answering the questions asked, correctly defining the boundaries of permissible frankness, the child perceives sexuality as a natural addition to adult life. If questions about sex in parents cause embarrassment, the same feeling arises in a teenager. The next time he or she does not come to ask questions, he or she will go elsewhere for the answers.
- If a daughter or adult son does not ask anything, that does not mean that they do not have questions. Perhaps they are not yet ready. Or maybe you have shown with some sort of your reaction that you cannot discuss these topics with your child. Do you want to fix the situation? Provoke the conversation yourself. Just remember that you have to answer honestly and frankly (as far as possible).
- Never discuss your experience, not even to protect yourself from mistakes. If your child is interested, make it clear that everyone should have their own personal life. Then teach your child to respect their own and others' privacy. Do not watch sexually explicit films together. A certain chastity must be maintained between parents and children.
What is good sex?
Give an unequivocal answer to the question: "What is fantasy sex?" - rather difficult. After all, each person under this concept represents something of their own: the duration of sexual contact, emotional satisfaction, the temperament of a partner, the permissibility of using toys, and so on. At the same time, men and women represent excellent sex differently. Strong sex is mainly interested in the physiological side of the process. While women dream of satisfying not only physical hunger, but also emotional hunger.
Despite the different ideas about intimacy between different genders, one thing can definitely be said about good sex: this is the unity of souls, the state to which everyone aspires. However, to experience true pleasure, both partners must try.
Vibrant sex full of physical and emotional satisfaction is part of falling in love. However, over time, the euphoria of falling in love passes, only emotional attachment and sex remain. And the partners' task is not to turn it into a compulsory, uninteresting job that has to be done twice a week for 10 minutes.
Suggestions for men
Remember: 'Pleasure is not given by sex, but by a lover'. When planning to make love to a woman, a man must understand that:
- In women, the arousal process happens slowly and smoothly. To tune in the right way, a woman may need about 40 minutes. At the same time, everyone is aroused by various caresses and actions. And even if a woman, after 10 minutes, asks to complete what she has started, do not believe her. By extending the prelude, you can achieve a much greater effect.
- Every young woman is unique, so she likes to do it in her own way. With the same sexual technique, different depths of penetration or intensity of movement can give a different effect. By carefully observing a woman's reaction, you can understand what she needs.
- If sexual intercourse has not allowed a woman to reach orgasm, you need to find out why. It is better for a man to start a conversation. The woman herself does not dare such revelations. You should insist on an answer, even if the other half does not want to answer. Explain what is really important to you, what impression intimacy has left.
- A woman should be the first to feel sexual pleasure. A man will have to make a lot of effort, but it is worth it. If the partner did not have an orgasm, it does not matter. Good sex, from a woman's point of view, includes not only a glowing climax, but the whole process before it.
- The responsibility for protection lies with the man. A girl might simply be ashamed to offer to use a contraceptive. But a man, after showing such an initiative, will demonstrate his concern for his half's health and reliability.
Suggestions for women
Men are less sensitive. However, this does not mean that a woman cannot be the one with whom she will have the best sex of her life. To do this, you only need to follow a few tips:
- Do not be afraid to take the initiative. Men love active and emotional partners who are uninhibited and sensual. To gain experience, you can view several explicit erotic tapes. Men appreciate women who know how to give and receive pleasure from sex.
- Learn to handle your partner's genitals with care. Remember that men are extremely sensitive, literally and figuratively, in all matters concerning their penis. Be careful when stroking the penis. Don't forget to follow your loved one's reaction, so you can give him heavenly pleasure.
- Add the closeness of emotions. Don't forget to whisper in a man's ear during sex about how good you are with him, how much you enjoy everything he does. Don't lie quietly like an Egyptian mummy, 'talk' to your partner about his skill with sounds and movements. After all, he probably wants to see what storm of emotions his actions provoke in you.
Partners must understand that quality sex is the work of both parties. To achieve true pleasure, honest conversation with each other will help. Ask, talk, discuss what you enjoy and have fun doing. After all, not everyone knows their physiology, which is based on emotional and physical sexual satisfaction.
By talking honestly 'about it', learn to give yourself bright emotional moments. Do not be afraid that your partner is offended by your comments. They are offended by the deception and not by the desire to make sex enchanting and memorable.
Sex: benefits for the body
The comforts of bed not only expel sexual energy, but also improve health. It turns out that when a person has sex, there is an increased production of hormones in their body. They improve general wellbeing and have a beneficial effect on the functioning of internal organs.
In the process of sexual intimacy, the following hormones are produced:
- Oxytocin - is actively synthesised in the body of a pregnant and lactating woman, it is necessary for successful birth and milk production. It is also formed in the bodies of lovers. Oxytocin helps to lower blood pressure, regenerate wounds and reduce nervous tension.
- Adrenalin is a stress hormone that is activated in moments of fear and determination, as well as when meeting a loved one. Activation of the hormone leads to faster breathing and an increase in blood pressure. These changes cause an accelerated heartbeat, which acts as a workout for the cardiovascular system. The heart becomes stronger and more resistant. During sex, the heart is able to make 120 beats per minute. Therefore, sex is a kind of fitness simulator for the heart.
- Dopamine is a pleasure hormone that is produced in the body when we do something to please ourselves. A cold glass of champagne, a fragrant barbecue, a smoked cigarette, successful shopping: this and much more causes a feeling of pleasure that fills the body with dopamine. A lack of this hormone can cause depression. But not all things that bring pleasure are good for the body. What cannot be said about sex. During sex, a large amount of dopamine is released into the blood. The more hormone in the blood, the happier and calmer a person feels.
- Testosterone is the sexuality hormone, which is responsible for sexual arousal and increases sexual desire. The more you have sex, the more hormone is produced in the body. Testosterone is involved in fat burning, muscle building, relieves nervous tension and prevents the destruction of bone tissue. Therefore, a regular sex life is the road to health and longevity.
- Serotonin is the happiness hormone that helps you relax and unwind. And the hormone helps strengthen the immune system, wound healing. Want to be optimistic and positive? Make love.
- Oestrogen is a hormone that treats various inflammations, promotes rapid regeneration of the skin. In addition, oestrogen increases libido in women. Therefore, the more often you withdraw with your loved one, the more you want intimacy.
- Endorphin is the hormone of restful sleep. It is produced in the body when a person laughs a lot, eats something tasty, exercises or has sex. Endorphins block pain, allowing you to relax and rest well. This is why many people fall asleep softly after sex.
For sex to fill the body with a mass of useful hormones, it is important not only to indulge in intimate pleasures, but to make love.